Are You Taking Responsibility?

by on 02/02/10 at 3:19 am

pensive-ann-hornToday I am going to hit a very critical component of success.  Now what inspired me to make this video is I just re-visited the book Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  In the book he not only covered the 13 principles to attaining success, he also covered the 30 components that lead to failure.

If you think about it this just makes sense, it is no more important to know how to succeed than to know how to avoid failure, and being as there are so many videos out there that teach about the attainment of success.

I wanted to talk about the number one cause of failure and that is the inability or unwillingness a lot of people have in taking responsibility.

Have you ever heard the old adage every one is self made but only the wealthy admit it?  Why?  Because they take responsibility for their results.  It astounds me at times, how a lot of people will try and wiggle out of taking responsibility for something even when they know it is the principle cause of failure.

I did some research and came up with 3 major causes for this I want to share with you.

1st and I believe this is the least traveled avenue, it is laziness.  Have you ever known you needed to get something done and said to yourself:  I don’t want to or somebody else can do it?

This kind of laziness usually stems from lack of purpose.  Having a purpose, something your passionate about will inspire you and motivate you to make things happen.

Have you ever seen somebody has truly found their purpose and set out after it that was lazy?  No way they are fired up and going after it.  When you find purpose and passion in what you do it will inspire you to heights you never dreamed possible so find your purpose and your passion for that will lead you to success.

The next two I am going to cover I believe to be the major culprits. Next a general lack of maturity.  Example, I have two daughters 9 and 4, now this may be hard to believe but they fight.

They want the same cup, the same toy the same stuffed animal.  One of them starts crying, Lisa or I go in the room and the first thing we hear is I didn’t do it! Ok, this one’s crying you’re the only other person in the room but you didn’t do it.

But you kind of expect that, they are little kids but that’s the key they are kids.  Sooner or later you have to decide to grow up right?  Now with adults it isn’t usually I didn’t do it or it wasn’t me.  It changes to that’s not my job or not my responsibility.  That is immaturity and a lack of personal growth but will get back to that in a bit.

3rd, too much self focus.  These are the individuals that are in constant need of praise and acknowledgement.  Many times people who are consumed with needing praise won’t accept responsibility because, why?  Right, because it will make them look bad.  So rather than taking responsibility they point fingers and place blame.

Please hear this when your striving to succeed picture yourself driving a car down the road to success.  The second something doesn’t work you and blame somebody else rather than accepting responsibly for the event you just slammed on the brakes and maybe put the car in reverse.

There are at least two things that could cause this.  A: immaturity
Which again goes back to personal growth and development and B:  This can be a little trickier.

It could be something deep seeded inside of you.  Maybe in your childhood you were ridiculed when you made mistakes, maybe your parents were too tough on you.  Or maybe you had a job with a boss that was overly critical; they just beat you up mentally and now seeking praise from a job well done is how you cope with that.
The problem is…   well your not addressing the problem.  The problem with needing praise to feel self worth your just putting a band aid on a cut that requires 25 stitches.

You first need to recognize that you are doing this, then and only then can you start to mature through personal growth, start healing and overcoming the problem.

Now I have given you the principle causes lets talk about solutions.  Earlier I spoke of purpose and I’m going back to it now.  When you’re about to implement a new strategy, event or whatever the case may be give it a purpose, give it its own meaning.  This is what will allow you to separate yourself from the outcome.

Take this post for example, I have assigned it a purpose and given it meaning.  Its purpose is to teach you, and provide you value on this so critical component to success in learning to take responsibility.  Now that I have separated us, this is me, this is the post.  If this post fails it doesn’t make me a failure I am not the post, by giving it meaning and a purpose I am able to separate myself from the outcome.

Now if it fails, and by guys you leaving comments on this post it will tell me if it succeeded or not.  If it fails all I have to do is say ok that idea didn’t work, how do I reword this to make it better and try again.  See every action or event that fails will teach you something if you allow it to. Separating yourself from the outcome is the key.

Now maybe you’re thinking well Ray by separating yourself from the outcome isn’t that avoiding responsibility?  Absolutely not, that is where you will get the power to take responsibility.  Now just as I said if the event fails since you separated yourself from it, now if something doesn’t work out your not a failure!  You can learn from the event, re-evaluate it and try again using a different approach.

I had these problems myself years ago.  I had a job where my boss just beat everyone down.  He was of the opinion that a mad worker is a hard worker and he basically walked around making everyone miserable.  I started pointing fingers and blaming others at times even when it really was my fault.  It was not about getting his praise but escaping his constant negativity.

I realized this when I left there and got in a better position that I needed to own up to things and get mentally healthy again.  So if you’re there now I get it! But you have to take ownership of it that is when your mind will open up for growth.

You see I feel very fortunate that Coaching and mentoring is something Lisa and I do passionately because we love helping others succeed.  But our primary business is personal development; I have that as a huge advantage because I am immersed in the solution to so many challenges just like this one.

Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying you have to be in the business to grow, but I will say that you should defiantly be plugged into a personal growth product of some type for your growth.

So with that said, find your purpose and passion, separate yourself from the outcome by giving your event meaning and purpose allows yourself to take responsibility for your outcomes good or bad.  Plug into a great personal development and growth product. Because as you bring these components together your life and business will soar to heights of success you never dreamed of.

Make it a great Day!

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